Oh, the hot flashes!

I started Taxol today. Been here forever and still no sign yet of the finish line.  Walked into TxOnc at 9:30a.  I did have labs and a dr. visit, plus more problems accessing my port.  Well, they couldn’t get a good blood return.  Started treatment around 11:15 or 11:30.  It’s now almost 4:30p and I’m one of the only patients left here.  My father is here too.  He’s been here with me since around lunchtime.

I’m having severe hot flashes, so they’ve had to turn down the speed of the dosage several times.  Got to the point where Nurse Suzie had to steal a fan from a co-worker to make me more comfortable.  I hope it’s not always like this.

My horoscope – The Austin Chronicle, Aug. 16-22, 2013

I typically don’t read horoscopes, but you read just about anything when you’re stuck in a chair for 5 hours getting treatment.  This one is a good one for me–inspiring, and something to keep in mind.

Pisces (Feb. 19 – Mar. 20):  Aldous Huxley was the renowned 20th century intellectual who wrote the book Brave New World, a dystopian vision of the future.  Later in his life he came to regret one thing: how “preposterously serious” he had been when he was younger.  “There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet,” he ruminated, “trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair.  That’s why you must walk so lightly.  Lightly, my darling. … Learn to do everything lightly.  Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply.”  I would love for you to put this counsel at the top of your priority list for the next 10 months, darling Pisces.  Maybe even write it out on a piece of paper and tape it to your bathroom mirror. ~ FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny

Doesn’t really sound like a horoscope, but great advice and exactly what I needed to read today.  Lovingly written–Also what I needed as I’ve had harshness in one form or another for weeks now.  Don’t you just love when a writer refers to his/her readers as “darling”?  Makes it more personal, that they’re writing just for you. Gives me the warm fuzzies all over!

Where’s the love?

Dear friends and family, I’m having a really hard time of it and my support system has waned.  I have several girlfriends that have been totally consistent in their support for me!  Deb, Beth, Kim and Mary, I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you girls!  And Ryan and Terri, and Dad! I cannot thank you enough for your unwavering support!  I love you all!!!

For others in my life reading this post, I started this blog to keep you all informed, certainly not for you to disassociate with me.  Where’s the love?  I realize we all lead busy lives, but I could really use your support throughout this ordeal. If only to drop me a line via e-mail or text every week or so, or comment on my blog posts cheering me on and/or just letting me know you’re thinking of me.  If you care about me, please show me some love.

You’ve all stated to let you know if I need anything and I realize I’m quick to show I’m capable of going it on my own, but this is much harder emotionally than I let on or anticipated.  Could use more love from all, please?